As humans beings, and perhaps even more so as Americans, we pursue control, comfort, and capability. We avoid situations and circumstances that threaten to reveal the reality of our limitations and weaknesses. Our inability to control our situations, the suffering that comes to all, and the reality that we can not be everything to everyone unmasks the illusions of creatures who would be the creator. If you have been a foster parent for any length of time you are soon confronted with the realities that you have very little if any control over the circumstances surrounding the children in our care.

It is the grace of God that allows us to come to a place of seeing we can never be enough. That hole we are try to fill is a God sized hole and it is grace upon grace when we are brought to the place of complete and utter dependance upon the one for whom we were created. We begin to recognize that we need not fear the challenges and hardships but allow Him to work in and through us in them.

Complete weakness and dependence will always be the occasion for the Spirit of God to manifest His power.

Oswald Chambers

What a truth. When I look into the eyes of the child I love with all my being and realize I can not be what she needs there is freedom. Freedom because my God, in me, magnifies himself and is glorified by showing forth his power through me. There is freedom because God is not limited in His work by my weakness. He is always working, although it is not always clearly seen. When I am worn, weak, and weary I know that I am not less than what I was meant to be but am the vessel as Oswald Chambers puts it “for the Spirit of God to Manifest His power.” I am reminded of 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 that says:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

My success as a foster parent does not rest upon how much my child accepts my instruction, heals from past hurts, stays out of trouble, or loves me and others back. My success is measured by my consistent faithfulness to what God has called me to: sowing, watering, or reaping each in its season. Nothing more and nothing less because all of the results are up to Him. Paul writes of our responsibility as believers in 2 Corinthians 12:6-9:

I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor. For we are God’s fellow workers. You are God’s field, God’s building.

So in your shortcomings and limitations, your pain and uncertainty, bewilderment and weariness know that you are not failing God. He does not expect you to be more than He created you to be. Be consistently faithful in obedience and repentance; not leaning on your own understanding (Prov. 3:5-6) but asking and trusting Him to do what only He can do. You were created for communion and dependance upon him and to be a reflection of Him to the rest of creation in everything you do.